Your kids need you

A mother’s narrative.

“Before you stir that cup of poison and drink it, think about the life of your children. Take a minute to think about the lives they would lead, without you. Or even forget that, think about the torture, the stigma that they will go through, knowing that their mother took her own life away. Whatever mountain of an issue was it that you couldn’t handle? Didn’t you think that these kids would need you when you are no longer with them? Whose burden will they belong to? Have you ever thought of your kids as a burden to someone or to the society? Worse, what if they turn out to be street urchins, just because you couldn’t take it anymore, would you lie peacefully with that thought, in your solemn rest? Will you? Your kids need you.”

“I know, and I am trying my best. I am trying to be the best mother, the best parent, the best coach, the best support system my kids could ever need. I am at a point in life where I feel like I am not delivering anything to its best.”

“But who told you that you need to give them the best? How do you even define best? How do you achieve the best? What you should be thinking of is not giving them the best but rather giving them YOUR best. Your best is just all your kids need; the best, however, might not be achievable. Let’s take an example: getting your kids to a good school, say an international school with all the privileges, would be the ideal best thing that you could wish for as a parent. But ask yourself, can you afford it? Can you pay the amounts of school fees required for those international schools? My guess is as good as yours, the answer is no. But the flip side is, you can afford to take them to school. It might not be an international school, but it’s still a school. That my friend is you giving them YOUR best.”

“I know but, look at where we live. All the children in the estate go to international schools. Look at the cars their parents are driving. Look at their clothes, their lifestyle, their way of living, their,,”

“Allow me to stop you right there. You are being unreasonably ungrateful. Your spouse works for these people. That’s why you have accommodation in this lavish neighborhood. You might not have the same financial capabilities as they do, but at least from where I observe, you have the basics to get you and your family by. I mean, for starters, why don’t you work, if I may ask? Because with your work, you will improve on the household income, and as such, you will get to do some of those little things you wished you’d do for your children. That can be a good starting point.”

“Work, what kind of work will I do? I haven’t been in employment for years. Ever since I got my first child. It’s been over ten years. Who would employ me? Are my papers even valid? Would I even know how to speak the corporate language of today? Look at my clothes. Look at how tattered they are, will they fit into the current world of work? I doubt.”

“If you were not my friend, I would have slapped out the nonsense that came out of your mouth. But because I care for you dearly, I won’t do that. I will counsel you instead. Because I think that’s what you need at this time. Let me ask you. Were we not together at the University? Didn’t we both study Marketing? Do you see me working for someone?”

“Well, I know your husband is filthy rich..

Come on, now, my friend. You know that’s not true. And you know that’s not where I was headed with this conversation.”

“Okay fine. I know you have your own marketing company. Is that what you wanted me to say?”

“Well, I see we are heading somewhere. Even despite the fact that I have literally been begging you to come work for me but that’s not the point. The fact that I have my own marketing company means that I work for myself, and I am creating employment opportunities for people. I don’t go to the office as much. I work on different clients’ projects from my home. I mean, what do you even do with the free internet they provide you with? Instead of browsing endlessly on social media, why don’t you use it as a tool for empowering yourself?”

“How exactly does one empower themselves from watching silly reels and TikTok? Or those never-ending posts on Facebook that tell you to type Amen after each post? How exactly does that look like empowerment? Social media to me is just a tool for entertainment.”

“You see, even the content you choose to follow on social media is betraying you. There’s absolutely so much to learn. But first you need to choose your content. There’s so much you can learn from YouTube from professionals and ordinary people just doing great work out here that you can follow. You can listen to uplifting podcasts from those Apple apps you have going on. You can use Pinterest to give you plenty of ideas on what content you like to create. How about also updating your current profile on LinkedIn so that you start putting yourself out there, including your own CV. When was the last time you updated it? Your kids are now in school. They don’t get back till evening. How do you spend your time in the day? As you can see, my friend, there are lots of things to do, especially when you engage your time with meaningful content.”

“Oh my, I didn’t even think about it that way. I thought the only way to make money these days was just by going to an office and working for someone. Never did I think that I could create employment for myself. I didn’t think about the power of content creation or following the right content to make my life easier and not follow those socialites. I remember how I loved designing things. Do people still do graphic design?”

“There are plenty of things to do around design. For instance, we can get you started on the Canva app, which has so many opportunities for you to create things. Logos, posters, Flyers, invoices, book covers, bookmarks, t-shirts. I mean, there’s so much you can do. Especially with that creative eye of yours. How about we do this, I have been meaning to change my company logo for some time. Why don’t I let you explore the Canva app and allow you to redesign my company logo? Then from there I can give you other jobs to do. Like all our prints, we need designs on them. And knowing your strength, which is attention to detail, I’m sure you’ll do a wonderful job and hopefully get you on my team soon.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I have been out of the game for ages, and I understand that things have changed. I don’t think I’d do it right. Where will I even start from?”

“Just give yourself some time. I can wait for a month until you come up with something great, then we shall take it from there. Plus, you can also share the design with me, as and when you create it, so that my team can review it until you make the best one and you are satisfied with it.”

“Thank you so much, my friend. I wouldn’t have imagined this possibility without your help.”

“And even better you do it right for home. You do have a laptop right?”

“Yes I do. It’s what I usually use to watch movies with whenever the kids are watching their cartoons on TV.”

“Oh, my friend, that laptop is a money-making tool. We also have apps that will help you with your savings, investments. Tools you can use to help you manage your money better, like financial literacy. You do have a bank account, right?”

“No, what for? I have never felt the need to open one. I mean, what money will I keep in it anyway? I don’t work. People who have bank accounts have loads of money and work in offices, not stay-at-home mums like me.”

“So, where do you keep all the money, we circulate for the ladies’ groups we are in?”

“Sometimes I give my husband, sometimes I spend in the house to buy groceries and things for the kids and sometimes myself. I’m barely left with anything time to keep in a bank account.”

“Oh wow, seems we have a lot to share, but one day at a time. I will help you. Because obviously, without a bank account, I will not be able to pay you for the logo design. So please set up the bank account before you complete the design work. If you need my help to suggest which of the banks you can consider setting up an account, I am willing to accompany you.”

“No need for that, thanks though, I will do that. Let me take accountability for that., I mean, where have I been living all these years? Everything we have discussed today sounds so surreal. It’s like I have been living in a cage. And so much had gone and passed me by.”

“Do not worry. At least when you start working and making your own money, you will realize the amount of value you have within you, and you will start contributing towards the house expenses, buy things for yourself and the kids, and start your investment journey. Who knows, after working consistently for some time and saving diligently, you might even own your own home. Or even buy this house. Of importance is to do it one step at a time. Keep adding value to yourself and forget about killing yourself, because your kids need you…….”

#sensesnhumor

Note: We all know that someone in our lives who might have a given up on life. Or who might not have any slight idea of what to do with their time especially if they haven’t been working in a long time. Be a friend’s keeper. Hold their hand while at it. You might save someone’s life by simply making their life better❤️. Teach them what they need to know for them to get their lives back on track.