A letter to my kids

Dear babies of mine,

Mama loves you. As she would always say, always and forever.

By the time you are reading this, maybe you will be old enough to have your own phones, your own social media accounts. And somehow upon your browsing and scrolling, you will come upon this note, and you will call each other to come and read this letter together. But first before reading you will ask yourselves, why did mum write this? Why didn’t she just tell this to us? Why put a letter here for us to find it like 10 plus years later? What was she thinking?

And before you read, you will call me first. Mum, you’d start, we found your blog. So you have been writing for this long. Then I will be doing book tours for one of my recently published book,🙏🏽🥰, And in between my book signing I will tell my assistant, let me pick my son’s call, It could be important. Then you’d continue. So in this blog, we’ve found something, it says a letter to my kids .And you will ask if it’s okay for you to read it. Whether it’s an actual letter to you or one of those fictional write ups. And at that time for sure I will struggle to remember, whenever did I write that. Then you would say, we don’t know when you wrote it but it was published a long time ago in the year 2024. And I would smile and say, ooh yeah that letter, just open and read it. And I will continue with my book signing.. knowing what you’d find there won’t be anything out of the ordinary, or some untold family secrets. No, just mamas wise counsel.

So children, first I will talk to you about love. Be gentle when you pursue this venture. Be gentle to yourselves, be kind to yourselves and most of all, be both to the ones you’d choose to love. I have taught you better than to take people for granted. People will not always be patient with you. They will never be the same to you at all times. Hence the more reason for you to be gentle and kind. When it’s from the heart like I always tell you, you will always know and hence reciprocating it wouldn’t be hard.  My mantra is always, you can never give what you don’t have. I’m sure by now you are well familiar with this saying because I have repeatedly told you this. Be sure to extend the same care to yourself before extending it to someone else. That way it becomes easier to share it with someone else when you already have it. I wouldn’t say much on love but be sure to know it’s the best feeling on earth and it’s beyond the butterflies. I pray that when this feeling happens to each of you, may you feel the happiness that it brings along. I pray also that may you find that whom is worth sharing and experiencing this feeling with, and maybe important to note, sometimes it doesn’t work out as you’d presume so don’t beat yourself,  it’s part of life as cucu Winnie would constantly say, “c’est la vie” so just dust up and open your self to meet more people this time with some experience because who knows, there could be still better out there waiting…❤️

I’ll touch abit about spirituality, because even as I write this today, I am still purposefully finding my path in it. I believe so far I am doing a good job taking you to church where you are now beginning your spiritual journey. It doesn’t end here, it becomes even difficult the more you grow up and worse in adulthood, but all in all, it’s brilliant to start this journey as young as you are because you get to devote yourself early enough. It’s said, teach your children the ways of the Lord so that when they grow up they will never depart from it. Developing your spiritual life early also keeps you away from all kinds of naysayers. I like it when I see the little prayers you make today. The gratitude prayers we often have, or the prayers you do before eating especially Keith who wouldn’t put anything in his mouth before shouting loudly, have you prayed😂!! Infact, he’s the one who’s always reminding us to pray before eating whilst we were already on our second bites. And he would always give us that look like shame on y’all for eating without praying. Or how you Ivan ensured that no matter how hungry you were, you would always pray first even before the rest of us assemble at the table. And the many times I had to remind you to wait for us we pray together. I hope you still do it even today and hopefully teach your kins too. Prayer is important it keeps us closer to God, it lightens what would ordinary look like a dark path, or just make your heart peaceful. It’s also your path to establishing your spiritual journey and creating a relationship with your maker. Prayer is the grace we carry along each day as we encounter uncertain or ambiguous things around us. Every value that we have instilled in you throughout your childhood, may they deriving the morals you need to embark on your spiritual journey and replenish it at all times. When you are not sure about it and need clarity, just ensure to pray about it, it always works like magic and helps to settle the unsettled of hearts. There’s more to discover in life, read the Bible too to have a good understanding of things of the world,  what God expects of you and why things are the way they are. Do not follow unclear paths, especially paths that don’t lead you to light, remember to be weary not be accosted into a world that is not spiritually right. My prayer is that may you find peace and solace as you seek to grow your spiritual journey for the rest of your lives.

I’ll touch abit about Education. First and foremost, always have it at the back of your minds that there’s never an ending to learning. It doesn’t matter what you do, always ensure everyday is a learning day for you no matter how small you might think the matter is. Ensure you learn. Feed your brain, as I would constantly tell you. Ensure you feed it and water it at all times. There’s never the right age to go back to school or learn something new, you can do this at any time, as long as you are ready for it. Learning never stops, be ready to be schooled too, it doesn’t matter who does it whether someone older or younger than you, they all have wise counsel to offer that will aid your learning. To learn is to be curious, and to cure curiousity you either learn or read. The many times Ivan you will remember I kept refering you to the dictionary to know the meaning of things instead of me telling you directly, I hope today you understand why I did that. I wanted you to embrace learning and satisfying your curiousity through research. Be bold to ask questions, seek clarity where you are not sure because it’s in asking that we know, it’s in seeking that we understand why things are the way they are. Needless to say too, curiousity kills the cat, know what it is important for you to know, don’t feed your mind with gutter in the quest for learning or pursuit of knowledge. Mama knows best. All the best to you both. I’ll pause it here.

On matters passion. Pursue this wisely and gently. Give your heart the opportunity to explore what it truly wants. And when it stops wanting it then stop pursuing it. It doesn’t help you to continue doing something that no longer gives you joy, that doesn’t brighten your face when you talk about it. The moment your eyes stop sparkling when you are talking about something, that’s your cue to stop it. Pursue things that will keep you awake at night wondering how will you continue to make them better, while at the same time give you a reason to wake up early in the morning to continue building it. Whatever it is, may you find that which gives you these two choices. Whether its a career, a hobby, a talent, a skill, even a person, if it brings you joy while engaging in it, then keep making it even better. Passions are also fed, ensure you feed them with the right food to keep them glowing. Guard them too. Ivan you love football, I hope by the time you are reading this, you will still be as passionate as you were in 2024 especially about Mancity😅. I hope today you are doing something with that passion. For you Keith today your love for painting and taking pictures, I hope it turns into something beautiful for you as well. And if you pick other passions along the way, pursue those too diligently there are endless things to pursue in this life so don’t fear exploring. Mama knows best, I can only wish the best for the both of you in your now and future passions.

On Family and Friends. As I would occasionally call them the fs and fs. These two can go hand in hand depending on how you choose to percive them. There are friends who become family and there are family members who we stop seeing them as family but rather the greatest of friends we could ever wish for. My wish for you is that may you get to experience them both. Those who become either. Family is important and so are friends. Ensure to maintain good boundaries even as you get people closer to you. Show up for people’s occasions as I would often remind you as that’s the essence of the fs and fs. Sometimes they may not show up for you for one or two reasons that doesn’t mean they don’t like you, or too busy for you, they could just not be available, no hidden motive.  Sometimes the universe may make it possible for them to be there for you too when you need them. Importance of friendship is that you have a circle of people you can always go back to for all times. People who will stand with you in both good and sorrow times. People who can offer their shoulder to you to lean on and with you too. My prayer is that as you do it unto others, may it be reciprocated too to you, and may you learn to not only need your friends when in trouble but also during joyous times. As said earlier remember to keep clear boundaries too as you hop in between these interactions. All in all life, gets easier and better when you have friends. People you can talk to and laugh with and cry with too. My wish is may you find genuity in each person you call a friend and be genuine to those who call you a friend. As for family, always remember family will always be family, be kind to each other also because you will need them in both rain and sunny days. Draw the line where you need to….mama thinks she knows best here too or not …

Something I thought I didn’t have to talk to you about, but can’t avoid anyway is Money. Whether you like it or not, just so you know in this life time, you will need money, you will want money, you will make Money, you will spend it too. My wish is that may you both be wise with it. Your ways of making it, may they be honest ways and even when it comes to spending, use it wisely. I don’t know what else I can add on top of those two. I wish someone had given me tit bits about money while growing up. I read something just yesterday that financial stability doesn’t mean that you have an abundance of money. Ensure as you make money, don’t be too frugal. People in our days today would jokingly say” tumia pesa ikuzoee😂” but ideally what this means don’t have the scarce mentality that you need to keep making and making more for fear of it not being enough. Truth be told it’s never enough. Right from our grandfather’s times, to our times, to your times too, it will never be enough. So make it enough for you at any time so that you can enjoy it too. Ensure you are literate too, financially, know your spending habits, learn how to budget the little or much you have. Know what/whom you are spending it on. If it makes you happy, brings you peace, spend on it unapologetically. Remember to save too and invest it wisely. I won’t dwell much about this besides telling you to be wise with money so much you will learn for yourselves.

What else haven’t I shared yet. Oh, maybe something about authenticity. I think I learnt about this when I was almost today years old. Authenticity is being in your true self, your true element all the time. Just being you without compromise, without “forcing” to be something or someone you are not. Simply giving people and yourself the truest version of who you are. If you are a cheerful person, let everyone experience this version of you at all times. Be the same I mean everywhere. And you will realise that you are not a two in one person or those people who we would call, “wolves in sheep skin”. Try to be the same to everyone who experiences you. Don’t change who you are because people can always spot the fake and they can easily let you go when they know you are pretending. Infact, it’s very draining to try and pretend to be someone you are not you will get tired of it. Be the same, at home, at school at work, everywhere because that is what people will remember. People will know who you are and infact you will not have to worry about putting up a show, because what they see is what they will get. I wouldn’t dwell so much on this but as you grow up you will realise why it’s important to be authentic. If you don’t remember anything else about being authentic, just remember being authentic is (showing up as your true self at all times regardless of where you are, whom you are with or what you are).

I can only share what I have learnt over the years. Words of wisdom that at times I wish someone had spoken to me about them. Things that I have had to learn and witness myself or just go through them in order to understand. So I wouldn’t wish that you start from scratch hence my reason for penning this down for you, it’s not in black and white, neither is it the true gospel of how things are in life, just wise words from your mama. Needless to say, the beauty of life is in experiencing it as it comes, in your own terms, guide or no guide. Above all, ensure you are enjoying every bit of it while making each day count for you. There’s never a guide or manual to living life even with what I have said above, because each of you will have their own unique journeys and paths,.so ensure to make the most of them while at the same time making beautiful memories.  Fundamentally, the goal is to ensure you enjoy your existence and never stop believing in your dreams, believe in the impossible beautiful outcomes for yourselves at all times even during difficult times.  Seek to grow at every bit of it too. Remember what I normally say about failure, it’s okay to fail, because it’s through failures that we get to learn from those mistakes inorder to get beautiful outcomes in future especially when we get to apply the lessons learnt from those failures. Remember to take care of your bodies too, because you can only achieve as much when you are healthy. Eat healthy, work out, get closer with people who you know their statuses, don’t scoff, this is important 😉😉… Finally as I end it here, prioritise being happy, and being thankful at all times, because a heart full of gratitude is a contented happy heart, and remember to always live, love and laugh.

Yours, always and forever, with love

Mum ❤️