Mental & me

LEMMY

But how did this happen?
I have no idea, parts of me have always thought she was okay.
What do you mean thought? Didn’t you know she was unwell? Don’t you like live in the same house?
We do but,
But?
Well, she looked fine to me, happy to say,
Happy, you think she was happy? She was busy not happy if you were to ask me.
What’s the difference between the two, she looked like she was always doing something, projects if I can call them and I thought those made her happy.
Well, she was busy. That’s it, she kept herself busy to keep her mind off  things or to make meaning of her life.
What do you mean by meaning, she had a good job, earned way better than I did, she had her art house, where she sold her paintings and art stuff, didn’t those count?
Count? Do you even hear yourself? Who took care of most of the household? Who took care of the children? What about her work, did you ever get to speak with her about her work?
Well not much of the time, I just knew she was a manager in her company.
What was her day-to-day work like?
I don’t know, why are you asking me all these? It’s not like any of these questions will make her better. Doctor, just do your best, and make her better.
I can only make her better if I know more things about her, her life, her schedules, her day to day, her likes and dislikes, what are some of the things that made her happy? All these things will help me make a better diagnosis of her illness.
So, are you saying she’s going crazy or what?
Crazy is quite demeaning but let’s say mental. She’s currently going through depression and as we speak besides the dose of medication she’s currently on, therapy would do wonders too.
So where do we start from?
Anywhere, tell me a little bit more about your wife, how well do you know her?
Doctor, we have been married for a whole fifteen years, living together in the same house raising our children, what do you mean know her?
Well clearly it seems she was just a shadow in your home. That’s why we are here today. So, allow me to ask this question again, how well do you know your wife?
Whatever I say Doc is pointless, I think besides her name, and the fact that she is the mother to my children, I don’t seem to know anything about her. Fifteen years of living together, how could this be possible?
Well, yes that is the unfortunate of life today. Each one of us is busy with life, chasing what they think is right for the family and we forget to interact with the people whom we are chasing for. Let me ask, what fun things did you used to do together? Do you recall any?
Mmmh maybe when we were courting. She loved to dance, I took her dancing almost every weekend, and she danced the night away and I used to love to watch her do it. She tried teaching me some moves occasionally, but I was, I am still left feet.
Okay and besides dancing what else do you recall doing together that looked like fun for the two of you?
I guess we also travelled occasionally, we did a few road trips here and there and those were enjoyable too. She loved it when we went somewhere together and just recalling now, she never liked groupie things, even on the days I planned for outings with a group of friends she never enjoyed it much.
How come, or why would you say so?
I just felt she never expressed her true self unlike when we are together, and I often took it out on her that she never liked my friends.
Oh, so these trips, were they with your friends or her friends or common friends?
Guessing my friends mostly? Why do you ask?
Did she ever tell you she was unhappy or not pleased being amid strange company?
Come on doc, isn’t that the point of meeting new friends? Aren’t we all adults capable of having conversations with anyone? She fit in sometimes and when she started getting too bored, I opted to go for those trips by myself.
Mmmh, interesting.
What do you mean interesting?
No, I am just acknowledging our conversation. So, did you ever get to meet her friends?
Occasionally I mean most were chamas and stuff.
Stuff?
Yea I mean those things that ladies do with fellow ladies.
Mmmh even more interesting.
Doc, I don’t think that this is about me, she’s the mental one here oh, sorry she’s the sick one here and not me, I don’t get why any of this interrogation is directed towards me?
Like I said, I just want to understand her and how she got where she is and the only person who can help me do that is you. And so far, you are doing a fantastic job.
Is that sarcastic doctor because I can tell sarcasm from far?
No, we are making good progress. So, when did you stop going out together?
Well as you know when babies came, she couldn’t leave for a second, she couldn’t go anywhere I mean who would have looked after the babies?
Did you ever ask her? Or did you make these presumptions by yourself?
I didn’t have to, I could see it, all the nurturing, she used to be tired all the time, oh don’t get me started with the weight gain. She couldn’t fit into jeans and shorts anymore, Heck we stopped going for swimming. Who would even want to see those ugly stretch marks and back fat on her, eeew, no not me.
Did you just eeew your wife?
No, I eewed those ugly marks and fats all over her body.
Did you make commentaries about them or something like that towards her?
Well, I did try to suggest that she sheds off some of that weight, join the gym stop eating those sweet things she likes, but I guess she never took any of that to be important.
And after that what did you do?
Aah doc you know these things, aren’t you a man yourself? I mean how can you ask? Or what do you expect? I got myself something sleek and chic, slender to walk around with. A man of my statue can’t just go to places without someone. I did what any man would do.
Okay I think that’s it, that’s the end of our session today.
It’s not even an hour Doc,
Yes, But I think we have made such good progress today and we meet next time, if need be,
What do you mean, if need be,
Like you said, it’s not you who is mental right, so let’s dedicate our time to the one who is, right?
This does not make any sense,
Thank you for your time, please allow us now to treat Lydia. Have a good day Lemmy, we shall call you if need be.

LYDIA

You are awake finally, how are you feeling? I just wanted to make sure you are awake and okay before we could talk.
For how long have I been out for?
Mmmh a couple of hours, the medication you are on will make you a bit drowsy as those are mixed with sleeping agents.
The antidepressants,
Well yes, have you had those before?
Yeah, I was seeing a psychiatrist a few years ago and she prescribed some to me which I have been taking for some time.
And what was the aftermath from taking those drugs?
Well just the usual, sometimes dizziness, sometimes you just want to sleep all the time coupled with a bit of palpitations.
That’s expected, but those wear off with time. So, Lydia, what do you think made you to get to this condition?
Doctor why are you speaking in parables, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask, just say why are you depressed Lydia?
Professionally we don’t use the ailments of our patients to address them, but rather the cause of the ailment is what is important to us, because once we have that, it becomes easier to prescribe and offer the best counsel.
Well at least you are professional,
Yes, I try to live by the virtues of my calling. I had a chat yesterday with Lemmy and,
Lemmy, my Lemmy?
Yes, Lydia your Lemmy.
And what did he say? Did he take responsibility for this?
Lydia, lest I remind you, as I have always done, its important to take individual responsibility for our actions. Taking a whole bottle of sleeping pills has nothing to do with Lemmy.
But doctor, you don’t know what that man has done to me, what kind of influence he has had over my life, you just…
Lydia, I hear you, but more than anything, I’d like you to heal, get better so that you can go back home to your children, your normal life, and for you to heal, you must accept, take responsibility for your actions, ‘Id wish you stopped including Lemmy in this journey towards your healing.
Doctor, I was just looking for something to put the blame on, but my husband is,
Lydia,
Okay doctor, I hear you, so how do I come off this? Do people ever get healed from depression?
Good, now we have somewhere to start from. And yes people get healed, but first, Id like us to continue with therapy, I will also like us to do the weekly check ins, I will also prescribe some medication for you to help you with the anxiety. Are there things maybe out of ordinary work that you enjoy doing, as these will help you with the healing journey? Lemmy mentioned about paintwork and your art gallery.
Doctor, I thought you said out of work, my painting and art are all work.
Okay, true, what about music, movies, working out, things like those, any that maybe can help you relax, or do we recommend, maybe listening to podcasts, journaling, gardening perhaps. I have a contact a former client, who teaches pottery, and most of my patients who have done this pottery courses, have shown progressive healing.
Pottery huh,
Yes pottery, all that clay stuff and modelling, you are an artist so this shouldn’t be hard. Plus, you get to exercise your hands while at it, be accountable of the product you produce in the end.
I don’t know about that, but it wouldn’t harm to try.
That’s good Lydia, so I know we have spent some good amount of time talking, I hope to see you tomorrow and we may start working on your discharge. And remember Lydia, one day at a time, please slow down, calm your thoughts, and live for today. Be happy with who you are, your accomplishments, your kids are super proud of you. They were here yesterday, not a pretty good sight to see their mother lying unconscious in a hospital bed. If anything, those are the people you need to live for. So please fight it. Whatever it is that made you take those pills, please don’t do it again.
Thankyou doctor, allow me to rest now.

MENTAL & ME

We pray for all those struggling with something, that’s affecting their mental health to get the help they need as soon as possible.

Author’s disclaimer: I do not know any Lydia, nor any Lemmy, story is just crafted for entertainment and urge anyone struggling with something affecting their mental health to seek help. Characters and scenarios are all fictitious. Enjoy the read.