It’s barely seven days into the month. How has it been for you so far? Does it look like a new month, does it feel like a new year? Are you still in 2021? Or did you just transition smoothly into a new month just like you did with the rest of them last year. How about the first few days of this year, how have they been like, how many times have you re written your dates? Like how many times have you scribbled the number two on top of one on the year 2022 because your mind body and soul were still in 2021? I can see you are quite many.. Frankly, I am yet to write a date in full so I wouldn’t know if I would make that error or not. Someone is probably thinking, c’mon seven days later and you haven’t written a date yet, what do you do?……….Yes, shoot me. I just haven’t.
So, If January was a person. Even before we think of the name, would January be a he or a she according to you? I’d leave that tussle for you to decide.
If January was a person, they would have a name like Jan, or Anuary, you know just for the name to be there in between. Not fancy, not so cool but not so bad either. Let’s go with Anuary, sounds a bit gisty. Anuary would come from a family of twelve siblings. And as bad as this may sound, He would be the firstborn. Oops, I have made my pick that Anuary is male. The men can forgive me, but who knows, it may be a good thing that he is male. So, he is the first child of this amazing family and just like any firstborn, you would realise that tons of responsibilities befall him. He is supposed to be the most disciplined, the most obedient, the one with the highest sense of reasoning, the one who has a lot of decorum. Come to think of it, some of his siblings, rely on the decisions he makes majorly, as his decisions and choices may have tremendous effects on them.
Coming back to our month, you would realise that it’s at this time or during this month where people are rushing to come clean. People are trying to sober up after a month of fun that just ended. Everyone is trying to get disciplined during this month, either by saying, I will not party as a hard as I did during the festivities, some saying I will not eat as much as I did during the holidays, in fact, I am cutting down my weight, me and carbs are not going to see eye to eye..lol. And quickly they draft a plan of how they are going to get rid of that weight. I mean, everyone is basically trying to do something different this month, because what we do in this month tends to set the tone of the coming months. Some will plan on how they want to be disciplined savers by joining different saving challenges that are presented to them, some will think of better ways of making more money, some will get into the discipline of eating healthy meals hoping that this discipline gets carried all through to the rest of the months. You see the rush to come clean?
So now Anuary, ideally, carries all these hefty responsibilities with him. He is tasked to ensure that whatever plans are put in place are seen through to completion. Sometimes I feel like the pressure gets too much on him which makes him to be the most dreaded person. Why, because with his arrival every time, he reminds you that you are not ready. He reminds you that you are even far behind your goals and expectations. Sometimes he comes out too stern because almost every bill seems to be falling on your feet currently. If you are not paying school fees and other amenities, you could be renewing major licenses for major operations about your life that if these aren’t done on time, major losses could be incurred.
Do people really dislike Anuary? I wouldn’t want to use the word hate, as hate is such a strong word so we shall settle for dislike. Do people really dislike him that much? If not, then why do we talk about him so negatively. Even when he is just right there in front of us. For instance, someone owes you money or owes you a favour, a contract that didn’t even involve Anuary, but you end up dragging his name in. Oh, I can’t pay you now because you know Anuary is right here with me. Lol. Please just pay up. Your debt has nothing to do with our dear Anuary. He only came to remind you that, amongst your many pending bills, you still have that debt to take care of so don’t drag his name unnecessarily. If I were him, I would even stamp my foot saying, “Hey you, thou shall not use my name in vain!” But sweet oh Anuary, sits there and watches the two of you wrangle one another.
Anuary would also look like that visitor who comes to your home and refuses to leave hehehe. He is there each day. You go to the kitchen; you find him hallowing through the fridge to eat that one last fruit that you went looking for. You go to the washroom, he already left there to use that last piece of tissue paper that you intended to use yourself. You hit the shower, you find him in and when he comes out, he asks you to replace the soap because he used the last piece of it and reminds you that you may be out of water. Since he is there with you in the house not moving an inch, you decide you’d like a break from him and prepare to eat out. He reminds you that he used the last note from your wallet the previous day to fuel your guzzler car. You look at him and grunt and ask, man, when are you gonna leave my house? He looks back and responds eeer,, I don’t know, it’s all up to you. How long do you want me to be gone for because I will be back? You look back again at him and grunt even more. Since you can’t leave the house you decide, fair enough, I will just whip up a meal. You head to the kitchen, light the gas on which does a few hisses and off it goes. This time you are not even grunting loudly but cursing on the inside because shortly before you decided to head out and eat, Anuary cooked up a bunch of eggs and ate them all. Your stomach is now rumbling, you are there left with nothing to do, no food to eat, no money in your wallet to order even a take out, you decide to go to bed and lay for a while, maybe to think of a gruesome plan on how to kick Anuary away from your house. As soon as you lay your head on the pillow, you hear the beeping voice of your electricity meter token requesting you to load up,,,,,,,, Anuaryyyyyy… Leave!!…..,,, you scream as you bury your head on the pillow which also reminds you that its due for a wash..no soap, no water……
Lol. I am not sure I would want to be Anuary. You see how he is causing tons of menaces up there. However, I don’t think he is much of a nuisance. He could still be the visitor you wanted to host, the one whom you wanted to keep you company, the one whom you wouldn’t mind if they used two boxes of tissues, or used up the whole bar of soap to wash their body and hair , or the one whom you would find cooking and eating your eggs without any fear of him finishing your stock. The reason you got mad was that you were just not prepared. You were not prepared to host him, to house him or even to feed him.
Anuary, would also be a disciplined kid in a way. You know he is very focused as he is the master of making many plans and endless changes. He is busy crafting his resolutions and goals for the year. If he was a student, he would even do that exercise in the library where he would be guaranteed maximum concentration. An A student kind of. He would be enviable by many because, he would seem to know what he is doing and even better, he would seem to have his life on track. Isn’t this a good thing? Some may want to be associated with him like asking him to teach them his ways, while others would scoff on the side saying he is just a high ended snob. Some would even go as far as saying, let’s see how long that would last. They would make fun of him. Whilst he may be the only one who knows what’s good for him, he would keep going and keep up with his focus like the disciplined kid he is.
…. Trying to keep up the fun with this to make this month a happy one.
But we love Anuary don’t we? Without him there wouldn’t be goals, without him there wouldn’t be discipline, without him there wouldn’t be focus. He is usually there to remind people that no matter what you do with the rest of the year, I will be here, you can either prepare for my coming or keep dreading of my arrival. He gives us this choice every damn time just that we don’t realise it.
…. If January was a person…..
Still #sensesnhumor
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