Where you draw the line, is where your boundaries are.
Where you draw the line is either saying enough of this, or just don’t get on my side.
Drawing the line is simply saying, you have limits, you have ends, and these limits or ends can not be crossed. It’s like telling someone, you stay on your side as I stay on mine.
If you were to literally draw a line on a piece of paper, in the middle right from the top all through to the bottom, dividing that paper into two, you would say, this line, is what separates us. It’s what divides us. So be careful how you trade, to avoid finding yourself on my side. Which may be the wrong side. This line is what divides our individual thoughts, our thinking and even our perspectives. This line is the respect we accord one another. By you crossing over this line and coming to my side is breaking barriers and boundaries which we have set for ourselves and how we relate. Crossing over this line means, encroachment of my space, or me encroaching on yours.
Where you draw the line is simply putting a no to things that were previously assumed to be yesses.
So, where do we fail to draw the line? And what happens?
Failure to draw the line is when we keep moving with the flow that the assumptions we have about people or situations are right. And unfortunately most of the time aren’t. Let’s say, if someone touches you inappropriately, or in a manner that makes you uncomfortable, and you keep assuming or letting them feel like their actions were okay when they weren’t, then we have failed to draw the line. Or where we know we were displeased by their actions and we don’t say anything about it, then we have failed to define our boundaries. And by that, people will keep assuming their actions were okay, and they will keep crossing over to your side so many times, encroaching the little space you have left. When they do this, they will be assuming full rights to occupying your space.
When people cross and take over your space, what they do is, they crowd you and they even take advantage of you and your little space. Eventually they start expecting more from you including sharing that little space that they have already occupied. They will even want you to start moving into directions that they choose, which most of the time is not anywhere near to where you are headed to. Just imagine that happening to you. Your space gets encroached simply because you didn’t define your boundaries clearly. You failed to draw the line and now you may be forced to live with people or conditions that are not anywhere near to being favourable to you.
To make it clearer, imagine a situation where you invite someone to stay in your house for a couple of days. Then right when you think they are about to leave, they start talking about prolonging their stay. Or even more, they start buying things like small furniture and utensils and placing them in your house. Before you know it, they have brought in bigger items like beds, mattresses, suitcases e.t.c. While your house may be bigger to accommodate these, you will start getting uncomfortable because they failed to tell you their plans from the onset and the reason why they are still in your house or worse, moving in. Because maybe that wasn’t the plan when they were asking for your help. After all didn’t they tell you that they were just staying for a couple of days? And that is what maybe made you agree? After seeing that they are not anywhere near to moving out, how will you still feel about them? Will you be happy continuing hosting them? You may feel sorry for them maybe, given the nature of the condition they were in for you to agree on letting them stay with you. They could be dear friends, relatives etcetera, but friends or not, relatives or not, one way or the other, your space will feel greatly encroached, and if you don’t do something about it, then it’s only you who will suffer. Emotionally, financially or just in terms of your peace being interfered with. Does this brief description put into perspective of what happens when we don’t draw the line? And by drawing the line, we mean defining boundaries clearly.
Failure to draw the line equally means, allowing people to treat you the way they know as opposed to how you would love to be treated. It’s true, respect is earned and not commanded, but even so, people will only respect those who respect themselves more and for you to have people respect you, also relook into your own conduct. How you carry yourself around matters. Are you in a way giving the wrong perception of how they should treat you? For example, would you be happy if someone insults, or shouts at you? Or demeans you in one way or the other. Either by their actions or words. Would you equally be able to stop them from shouting at you or insulting you? The only way to answer these questions would be, how did you draw the line?How did you set the boundaries? Did you define them?
We have people who also don’t seem to understand that there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed. To define this, is like you taking another person’s toothbrush and using it to brush your own. While that sounds gross, so is crossing over clear set boundaries. From what I could have experienced about drawing the line is, clearly defining the extent of your interactions amongst friends, families, co workers, etcetera. People are always looking for easy ways to interact how they deem fit, just don’t be a part of that circle if it doesn’t resonate with you. If people don’t fit within your boundaries, then they have no business crossing over.
Where we draw the line is simply acting respectfully towards each other. What are the things I should say to you without offending you? What are the things I shouldn’t say? How I behave towards you should clearly be defined in the boundaries and lines we draw towards one another.
If people are not respecting you enough it’s time to check on your lines. Ask yourself, have you drawn any lines? Are your lines clearly defined? Are they in black and white or are they grey? To what extent mustn’t people cross or not cross? Is there a safer place for extending those boundaries?
As I conclude, it’s important to know that you can draw lines with everyone. Yourself first. Your partner. Your parents. Your children. Your friends. Your clients. Your employees. Basically everyone who you interact with, you are capable of defining the extent of your interactions so that all of you can live harmoniously, by just drawing the line.
So, where do you draw the line?
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